So my plans for blogging daily in June were an epic fail.
Sorry about that folks.
I get derailed very easily. This new version of WordPress is not working that well for me. Well, it’s working fine except for the new media upload tool. It doesn’t allow me to upload pictures. There’s a button missing or something. I wanted to upload pictures from the weekend Greg and I spent in Muuido and when that didn’t work… well I got a little discouraged.
My health has been a little sub-par the past few months and that’s taken its toll on my stress levels. And because I’m stressed, I’m having troubles with my health. It’s a vicious cycle. I’ve gotten away from much of the creativity and crafting that I know is oh-so-necessary for my mental health.
I have, however, committed to a 4 month contract with the Wardrobe Refashion project. For the next 4 months I shall not be buying any new manufactured clothing. This should be an interesting 4 months indeed.
Muuido and Silmido were pretty cool. It was definitely a different experience from our trip to Uido last month. It was far more touristy and, well, populated for that matter.
Uido is basically a national park. There were some guest houses near the dock and that was about it. It was delightfully remote and the kimchi chiggae at the minbak we stayed at was delightful.
Muuido is far more built up. We stayed at a resort, although that term is used rather loosely. We had a bare bones room on the beach but we did have indoor plumbing. Well, until the electricity - and consequently the water - went out on the whole island. It was during that blackout, sitting in front of the convenience store drinking what appeared to be the last two beers sold, that we met a couple of neat folks, John and Barry.
We had a great time just talking and drinking with them. Barry spoke fluent Korean so he was able to talk to the shopkeeper and secure us some more beers. We also met up with them the next day and got to meet Barry’s wife and John’s girlfriend. A real nice group of people. Barry makes the best gochujang I’ve ever tasted (this says a lot, I absolutely hate gochujang with a hatred that rivals my feelings on ketchup) and John is a music snot that kept up a lively debate with Greg.
It was just a really good weekend and I’ve got to say I’m more than a little sad to be back to work.
ag·o·ra·pho·bia Pronunciation: “ag(-&)-r&-’fO-bE-& Function: noun : abnormal fear of being helpless in a situation from which escape may be difficult or embarrassing that is characterized initially often by panic or anticipatory anxiety and finally by avoidance of open or public places
Greg and I shall be travelling to the island of Muuido off the coast of Incheon tomorrow morning. (As such, there will be no updates this weekend. ) I’ve been feeling rather out of sorts for the past few weeks and I’m a little bit nervous about going away.
I know once I get there I’ll be fine. But it’s the worry of a possible panic that’s, well, making me panic. That is exactly what agoraphobia is. I’m working very hard to not let it crush me. In 2001 I spent the better part of 8 months inside my apartment. It got to the point where not even school was a safe space; consequently, I dropped out. I would travel home periodically to visit my parents and the bus ride there and back would be so emotionally horrific I would often get physically ill. My heart would beat so fast and my adrenaline would pump so hard that I would come very close to hallucinating. The bad upholstery (c. 1985) would melt and wobble as tears welled up in my eyes and I tried very hard not to run screaming off the bus.
I don’t know how I made it through that year.
Today, things are not even close to being that bad, and I know that because I did make it through that, I can practically make it through anything. However, I’ve been feeling immensely anxious lately and I can feel the panic brewing. I know better than to strain myself but I also know that I can’t let the fear control me.
Strangely, travelling is inside my safety zone and I know once I get on the road I’ll be fine. I’m worried, however, that because this anxiety has just been building for weeks that it might come to a head whilst out on the road. I know that it’s worrying about this that’s giving me anxiety.
Here’s my first attempt at some time-lapse photography. In preparation for taking the Wardrobe Refashion pledge starting next month, I’m working extra hard to get my house in order. Today I did a lot of work on the kitchen. You’d be able to see this better had I remembered to drop the frame rate. It’s one frame every 3 minutes but it plays back at 24fps.
I’m waiting for my content to be approved by revver, so until then you can click the link to watch the view as I’ve hosted it myself. Once it’s up on revver, I’ll embed it here.
Honestly, that’s basically the extent of the story and a line that sums up Korea oh so well.
My anxiety levels are through the roof today so I’ll keep it short and sweet. Hanna and I declined to buy the pineapple and he moved on to the next table. We continued to eat mussels and I hurried home when it all got to be too much.
